Saturday, February 7, 2009

loss is a veiled hope

February 7, 2009, Saturday

There are times and then there are good times and then there are memorable times. Without mentioning as to what actually happened inthe last two weeks, i would say that they are the most memorable times of my life. And the climax of it all came yesterday when i did something which i have never done before and perhaps never do again in similar circumstances.
I always used to think somethings are not my forte and somethings i wll never delve into although deep down inside i always longed for a moment when i just stand and speak.. and that happened yesterday.
After having realised what finally was going inside me, i took a stand. In spite of knowing that my decision will take me no where (usually my decisions take me no where and thats y i am an engineer, wanted to be in army and doing uninteresting stories as a journalist)... i walked ahead.
And ahead i walked and things turned out to be beutiful too at the outset. Even then i knew i was still floating in oblivion and it will always be just the same but still i was happy. happy, only happy?? No i was sad too that i will lose on a lot of things. But is this really a loss... yes it is and the loss pains a lot and it will pain till the time it appears as a loss. And i will always appear a loss but a ray of hope is always there. A feeling of this cannot fade away in a day or a month or a lifetime. They are to be cherished for ever in the deepest depths of human heart and in times of stress, disturbance, solitude they bring a smile on ur face... a smile veiled by a thin layer of sadness, of loss.
But i guess that is destiny, so what if it is a bit painful... and one thing that my destiny has always taught me is in spite of everyhting, in spite of the waves against you, in spite of the winds in the wrong direction, in spite of bad things and unexpected events, and in spite of somethings always written... a human being who cannot dream and hope can achivee nothing in his life.....